*Update: Today I’m also thinking about AJ, who we lost two days after Cindy on 11/12/10. Although I was more attached to Cindy, I do miss AJ as well. He was a very friendly cat, always vocal and wanting to be on my lap (big plus this time of year when it is cold). I had him for 14 1/2 years, since he was a kitten.*
One month ago today (11/10) I lost my sweet “Baby Girl” Cindy. I miss her so much. I should update my “about” statuses (statii?) on my blog, twitter, etc., but I just can’t yet. While I know in my head she is gone, my heart hasn’t accepted it yet.
When I was doing a little cleaning yesterday, I cleaned the tv screen, but I couldn’t clean the glass door on the tv stand. Sometimes Cindy would press against it when she was turning around and her marks are still on the glass. A few pieces of her treats are still around. I don’t want to thoroughly clean because I don’t want all the pieces of her to be gone.
All the emotions around the grief of losing Cindy are combined with gratefulness and love for God. Adding to the mix are old fears about trust. God has been ministering to me in so many ways lately and drawing me closer to him. The truth that Almighty God really wants to have an intimate, personal relationship with me is almost more than I can bear.
The One who created the entire universe by breathing it into existence loves each of us more than we can imagine. He cares about our circumstances. He knows our every thought. He understands our feelings. He knows suffering and pain. He sees every tear. The God of All Comfort meets us right where we are. He is not just out there running the universe, putting a little extra spin on each star. He is right here, right now, in our circumstances.
Emmanuel – God with us.